Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What is the meaning behind people claiming to hear voices of God in their heads without anyone else hearing them? Is this a sign of mental illness or possession by an evil spirit?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

If Trump were to lose in 2024, would that be the end of his grip on the Republican Party?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy bullshit

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I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What are some great short jokes?

I can count

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What do you wear when you are alone at home?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Isn't it ironic people always talk about how much women hate Donald Trump, when almost any of them would marry him if they could? What he said in the 2005 Billy Bush video, almost every woman would share the sentiment if it got them his lifestyle.

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have a reading level above third grade

Why is my coworker suddenly being so mean towards then being nice like nothing happened? She is nice with everyone but me.

I can read

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

What are the best examples of reverse psychology?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Who has experienced what they called a happy accident (bestiality)?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Why do most people care so much about what others think? Are they afraid of society norms?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why are people so terrified or bothered that a person has original creative ideas, hobbies or unique interests?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why was Super Buu so afraid of having Fat Buu torn out and becoming Kid Buu if he was going to destroy the Earth even before his transformation?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fakery

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for traitorism